Write It Right

STEVE HIGH

NAT CRAWFORD

celebrating The Elements of Style 1918-1979

Write It Right

WITH STRUNK

WHITE

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Contents

Introduction ...........................................................................................i

The Sentence

Rule 1: Form the possessive singular of nouns by adding ’s. .........................1

Rule 2: In a series of three or more terms with a single conjunction,

use a comma after each term except the last. ......................................1

Rule 3: Enclose parenthetic expressions between commas. ..........................2

hen the main clause of a sentence is preceded by

a phrase or a subordinate clause, use a comma to

set off these elements. ....................................................................................2

Rule 4: Place a comma before a conjunction introducing

an independent clause. ............................................................................3

his rule explains how to punctuate compound sentences

and compound predicates.

Rule 5: Do not join independent clauses with a comma. ...............................4

his rule addresses the comma splice or run-on sentence.

Rule 6: Do not break sentences in two.

............................................................5

his rule addresses sentence fragments of a particular type.

Rule 7: Use a colon after an independent clause

to introduce a list of particulars, an appositive,

an amplication, or an illustrative quotation. ......................................6

colon must be preceded by an independent clause. .......................................6

Rule 8: Use a dash to set off an abrupt break or interruption

or to announce a long appositive or summary. ...................................6

ashes can also indicate a sudden reversal. ...................................................6

Rule 9: The number of the subject determines

the number of the verb. .........................................................................7

he subject is sometimes some distance from the verb.

Rule 10: Use the proper case of pronoun.

.......................................................7

ronoun

greement ......................................................................................8

ender-

eutral

anguage ............................................................................9

ndenite

eference .......................................................................................9

Rule 11: A participial phrase at the beginning of a sentence

must refer to the grammatical subject. ...............................................10

he same rule applies to prepositional phrases

and elliptical clauses. ...................................................................................10

Rule 12: Choose a suitable design and hold to it. ..........................................10

Rule 13: Make the paragraph the unit of composition. ................................11

Rule 14: Use the active voice.

...........................................................................11

he passive voice .........................................................................................11

he verb to be ...........................................................................................12

Rule 15: Put statements in positive form. .......................................................12

Rule 16: Use denite, specic, concrete language.

........................................12

This / That / These / Those

.....................................................................14

et /

ot /

otten ...................................................................................14

land Words ..............................................................................................14

imilar and

ifferent .................................................................................14

Rule 17: Omit needless words. ..........................................................................15

void the there is construction. .................................................................15

Rule 18: Avoid a succession of loose sentences. ...........................................15

leven ways to add variety to a sentence ......................................................16

Rule 19: Express coordinate ideas in similar form. .......................................17

his rule addresses parallelism.

Rule 20: Keep related words together. ............................................................17

se the exibility of adverbial expressions

to keep adjectives and nouns close together. ...................................................17

Rule 21: In summaries, keep to one tense. ......................................................18

Rule 22: Place the emphatic words of a sentence

at the end. ................................................................................................19

Style Reminder 4: Write with nouns and verbs. ...........................................19

ncover verbs whose action is buried in nouns,

especially with nouns ending in -ion. ............................................................20

o not invent verbs by adding -ize to nouns. ...............................................20

How to Write an Essay

1. Limit the subject relentlessly. Divide and subdivide it;

splinter it, and then write about one of the splinters. ......................21

2. Begin promptly. ...............................................................................................22

3. Give body to the essay. Consistently develop

one idea. ..................................................................................................22

4. End when you’re done. Your essay should end

as decisively as it begins. .......................................................................22

Types of Paragraphs

INTRODUCTIONS ..........................................................................................22

1. Give background on the topic. .....................................................................23

2. Describe different points of view on the matter. ......................................23

3. Discuss the topic in general terms.

..............................................................24

4. Tell a story. .......................................................................................................24

CONCLUSIONS ................................................................................................25

1. First, restate thesis in new words, and recap

your argument. .......................................................................................25

2. After you have restated your thesis, explain why your

thesis matters. .........................................................................................25

Explain some consequences of your thesis’s

being true. ...............................................................................................25

Issue a call to action. .............................................................................25

If you began with an anecdote, you may return to it. . ....................26

End with a quote.

..................................................................................26

BODY PARAGRAPHS .....................................................................................27

ample body paragraphs .............................................................................28

WRITING EFFECTIVE PARAGRAPHS ....................................................29

More about Rule 16: Use denite, specic,

concrete language. ..................................................................................30

rgumentative

aragraphs .........................................................................30

escriptive

aragraphs ...............................................................................32

Style Reminder 5: Revise and rewrite. ...........................................................33

Appendices

Appendix I: Words and Expressions Commonly Misused ...........................34

Appendix II: Using Verbs Correctly .................................................................35

a. Verb Formation ..................................................................................36

b. One Hundred Irregular Verbs .........................................................37

Glossary

..................................................................................................................40

Introduction | i

Introduction

Want to improve your English? Write with nouns and verbs, not adjectives and

adverbs. That’s the advice of

lements of

tyle, by William Strunk Jr. and E. B.

White.

White was a professional writer; Strunk was his Cornell English professor. In

part for this reason, professional writers and teachers of English almost univer-

sally admire this book. The

ssociated

ress

tylebook, for example, calls Strunk

and White a “bible for writers.” Few students graduate from an American college

without buying at least one copy.

Despite its immense popularity with experts, many beginning writers nd Strunk

and White hard to use, rarely take it from their shelves, and privately wonder

what all the heavy breathing is about. The purpose of this booklet is to explain,

illustrate, and send you back to

lements of

tyle.

Strunk and White presents 11 rules of usage, 11 rules of composition, and 22

style reminders—hints rather than rules—from E. B. White, one of America’s

most admired stylists. This little book, which in all editions is fewer than 100

pages, makes no pretense to replace authoritative works like the 871-page

hicago

anual of

tyle;

lements of

tyle covers only a small part of English usage.

Strunk originally wrote it for his introductory writing class at Cornell. He printed

it at his own expense in 1918 and again in 1919, the year E. B. White entered

Cornell. Harcourt Brace published it as a commercial textbook in 1920. Strunk

revised that edition considerably, adding for the rst time the essential rule—use

denite, specic, and concrete expressions. In 1934, the publisher brought out

another edition, enlarged and expanded by Strunk’s rst and now virtually un-

known collaborator, Edward Tenney. After retiring in 1940, Strunk authorized

a reprint of the 1920 edition, omitting the Tenney additions and changes alto-

gether.

In 1959, White produced the edition that gave his old professor undying fame. In

1972, he revised the book again with the help of Eleanor Packard,

orker

copy editor whom he generously acknowledges in that edition. By the release of

the enlarged, expanded, and extensively rewritten third edition of 1979, the book

had become what we know today as Strunk and White. The fourth edition updat-

ed examples and discussed removing gender bias. It added a charming foreword

by E. B. White’s son-in-law, Roger Angell; a valuable glossary; and an afterword

by Charles Osgood.

Strunk and White is still as practical, useful, and necessary to the serious writer as

ever. Each line is worth reading and rereading, and all 44 of its numbered recom-

mendations are worth absorbing.

Introduction | ii

In 2005, the publishers brought out an illustrated edition with striking and amus-

ing pictures drawn by Maira Kalman. In 2009, an edition commemorating the

50th anniversary of the rst Strunk and White edition appeared. These last two

editions, however, made no changes to the text of the fourth edition. While these

versions are pleasant to own, we strongly recommend the fourth-edition paper-

back, which will t in your pocket as readily as it does in the pocket of Charles

Osgood.

Both Strunk and White assumed that you had already learned grammar before

you picked up their book. Many of you, however, have not. For this reason, in

this companion volume we have added some basic grammar, notably a table of

irregular verbs; a guide to the correct formation of verb tenses; and a brief dis-

cussion of punctuation.

We hope that this booklet is helpful. But our real goal is to get you to pick up

Strunk and White again.

lements of

tyle doesn’t just help you avoid mistakes in your next writing proj-

ect. It helps you write it right.

STEVE HIGH

NAT CRAWFORD

celebrating The Elements of Style 1918-1979

Write It Right

WITH STRUNK

WHITE

WRITE IT RIGHT | 1

The Sentence

Rule 1: Form the possessive singular of nouns by adding ’s.

There is an alternative rule (James’ instead of James’s) for singular words ending

in -s. Most editors prefer the Strunk way, but whichever you choose, you must

follow it. You cannot use one rule one time and the other at another time.

In the discussion of this rule, Strunk includes the following admonition:

o not confuse it’s with its.

t’s means “it is.”

When proofreading, mentally expand every “it’s” or “its” into “it is.” This exer-

cise will spare you from condescension, embarrassment, and rejection.

To understand the following principles of sentence structure, learn the following

terms: coordinating conjunctions, subordinating conjunctions, relative pronouns,

conjunctive adverbs, main clause, subordinate clause, and phrase. All these terms are

explained in the glossary.

Rule 2: In a series of three or more terms with a single conjunction,

use a comma after each term except the last.

If you’ve memorized the seven coordinating conjunctions, you can easily spot

the conjunction used as the nal link of the three terms below:

e opened the door, walked into the room,

looked around

, and admired the house.

Like Rule 1, this practice is not universally followed. The

ssociated

ress

tylebook,

used by all newspapers and many businesses, recommends dropping the comma

before the conjunction in a series. Just make sure that, whichever standard you

follow, you remain consistent. As with Rule 1, you cannot follow the AP guide-

lines at one point in an essay and Strunk and White at another.

2 | WRITE IT RIGHT

Rule 3: Enclose parenthetic expressions between commas.

Parenthetic expressions provide an extra element of description to the sentence;

the information in such expressions can usually be removed without damaging

the meaning of the sentence. Knowing this rule can help clear up the punctua-

tion of two grammatical structures: appositives and adjective clauses.

Usually, appositives provide parenthetic information about the noun. In the fol-

lowing sentence, an appositive phrase adds extra information about the father.

y dad, a former CIA agent,

speaks

nglish,

rench, and

hai.

Sometimes appositives provide information essential to identifying a noun. In the

following sentence, we need the appositive to know which cousin is being dis-

cussed. Hence, the word is not parenthetic and has no commas surrounding it.

have two cousins.

y cousin Diego

lives in

alt

ake

ity these days.

Adjective clauses nearly always begin with relative pronouns. If an adjective

clause is not needed to specify a noun, it is a parenthetic expression; separate it

from the sentence with commas.

y father, who worked for the CIA

for many years,

owns a lie detector.

harlie

mith, who used to cook for us,

has just opened his own restaurant.

If an adjective clause is needed to specify a person, place, or thing, it is not a par-

enthetic expression; do not separate it from the sentence with commas.

he man who opened the door

was my uncle.

e saw two dogs.

he dog that had

black spots

was rolling on the ground.

The that entry in Strunk and White’s alphabetical listing of “Words and Expres-

sions Commonly Misused” adds to Rule 3.

Rule 3 includes the following point:

hen the main clause of a sentence is preceded by a phrase or

a subordinate clause, use a comma to set off these elements.

WRITE IT RIGHT | 3

Here’s an example of an initial phrase:

For three months out of the year,

we stay with my friend in Ohio.

Here’s an example of a subordinate clause beginning a sentence:

Because we needed a place to stay,

we called my friend in the city.

After the publication of the original

lements of

tyle, some teachers simplied

punctuation by developing a corollary to this rule: if a dependent clause comes at

the end of the sentence, don’t put a comma before it.

e called my friend in the city,

because

we needed a place to stay.

incorrect

e called my friend in the city

because we needed a place to stay.

correct

Rule 4: Place a comma before a conjunction introducing an indepen-

dent clause.

This rule explains how to punctuate compound sentences and compound predi-

cates.

If each clause can stand alone, always use a comma before the coordinating con-

junction; if only one clause can stand alone, never use a comma. This is a simpli-

cation that is always correct.

compound predicate:

He tried everything,

but succeeded at nothing.

compound sentence:

He tried everything

but

he succeeded at nothing.

incorrect

e tried everything

but succeeded at nothing.

e tried everything,

but he succeeded at nothing.

correct

4 | WRITE IT RIGHT

Rule 5: Do not join independent clauses with a comma.

This rule addresses the comma splice or run-on sentence. The following sen-

tence is incorrect:

he mouse ran away quickly,

the cat caught it anyway.

Because each half of the sentence could stand by itself as a sentence, it is incor-

rect to connect the two halves with a comma. You may use a comma plus a coor-

dinating conjunction.

he mouse ran away quickly,

but

the cat caught it anyway.

You may also join independent clauses with a semicolon.

he mouse ran away quickly;

the cat caught it anyway.

When you use a semicolon, the material both before and after it must be an inde-

pendent clause.

am put on his hat and walked

out the door

; planning his big day.

incorrect

am put on his hat and walked

out the door

; he was planning

his big day.

correct

You may also show transitions between independent clauses with conjunctive

adverbs.

uring the festival, the town choir will sing

at noon

. Also, the marching band will perform.

ou answered three questions correctly;

however,

you must answer four correctly to win.

Surround conjunctive adverbs in the middle of a clause with commas.

eorge started using better fertilizer.

is plants, consequently, ourished.

he soldiers wanted to go home for the weekend;

the general

, however, had other plans.

Remember that commas are delicate little marks. Don’t strew them over your

WRITE IT RIGHT | 5

writing like rock salt on an icy road. Don’t use a comma to separate compound

subjects or compound adverbs.

he players, and coaches

walked slowly

, but cheerfully

back to the locker room.

incorrect

he players and coaches

walked slowly but cheerfully

back to the locker room.

correct

Rule 6: Do not break sentences in two.

This rule addresses sentence fragments of a particular type. When you split a

sentence in two—perhaps because you think it’s too long—one of the two pieces

may be a fragment.

f you go to

oston on

aturday.

By itself, this clause is obviously only a piece of a complete sentence, a fragment.

The writer broke it off from a main clause either before or after it and mistak-

enly punctuated it as a sentence. In context, the fragment may be less apparent:

e sure to say hello to

your grandparents and give them

my best wishes.

f you go to

oston on

aturday.

incorrect

e sure to say hello to

your grandparents and give them

my best wishes if you go to

oston on

aturday.

correct

You can write another kind of incomplete sentence by going on and on without

reaching your destination, a predicate.

he tired soldiers of

ompany

, exhausted from the long

march and homesick for their loved ones and under relent-

less re that seemed endless, in a drenching rainstorm on a

muddy trail winding through mountains and forests.

Such sentences are fragments even though they are not broken off from any-

thing else.

A third type of fragment is the stylistic fragment written deliberately for the sake

of, in Strunk’s phrase, “some compensating merit, attained at the cost of the vio-

lation.” Try this on your next school paper. If you feel lucky.

6 | WRITE IT RIGHT

Rule 7: Use a colon after an independent clause to introduce a list

of particulars, an appositive, an amplication, or an illustrative

quotation.

A colon must be preceded by an independent clause.

n the words of

ohn

ennedy:

“

sk not what your country

can do for you—ask what you

can do for your country.”

incorrect

ohn

ennedy said it best:

“

sk not what your country

can do for you—ask what you

can do for your country.”

correct

Do not place a colon between a verb and its object or between a preposition and

its object.

e need: pens, paper,

and masking tape.

e went for a drive

on:

lossom

venue.

incorrect

e need the following supplies:

pens, paper, and masking tape.

e went for a drive on my

favorite road:

lossom

venue.

correct

Rule 8: Use a dash to set off an abrupt break or interruption or to

announce a long appositive or summary.

The following examples cover the most common use of the dash: setting off ap-

positives that deserve emphasis.

upert’s car—a

otus with a custom apple-green

paint job—was easy to spot.

t length,

liot received one of the world’s

highest honors—the

obel

rize.

Dashes can also indicate a sudden reversal.

t was impossible for anyone to escape

the dungeon—and yet he had.

Do not use dashes instead of commas without a reason. For more examples,

consult Strunk and White.

WRITE IT RIGHT | 7

Rule 9: The number of the subject determines the number of the

verb.

The subject is sometimes some distance from the verb. Do not be fooled by in-

tervening material. Strunk and White uses a version of the following example:

he bittersweet avor of youth—its

trials, its joys, its challenges—

are

not soon forgotten.

incorrect

he bittersweet avor of youth—its

trials, its joys, its challenges—

is not

soon forgotten.

correct

You have to spot the subject, avor, to nd the correct form of the verb. An -s at

the end makes the verb singular, but an -s at the end of a noun usually makes it

plural. In most cases, therefore, a subject and verb combination should have ex-

actly one -s between them.

For much more on verbs, see Appendix II.

Rule 10: Use the proper case of pronoun.

Learn to use the correct case, or form, of the nominative, objective, and posses-

sive pronouns (e.g., who, whom, whose; he, him, his).

Pronoun Case

Avoid problems with pronoun case by mentally splitting compound subjects or

objects.

y sister and her missed

the bus.

y sister and her missed

the bus.

incorrect

y sister and she missed

the bus.

y sister and she missed

the bus.

correct

You wouldn’t say “her missed the bus” but rather “she missed the bus.” The fol-

lowing is correct:

y sister and she missed the bus.

8 | WRITE IT RIGHT

SINGULAR

PLURAL

The same trick can be applied in the following situation:

he bus almost hit she and

incorrect

he bus almost hit her and me.

correct

You wouldn’t say

he bus almost hit

, but rather

he bus almost hit me. By the same

reasoning, she should become her. The following is correct:

he bus almost hit her and me.

This trick doesn’t work with the common blunder between you and

. Just remem-

ber that between you and me is always correct and that the other is always wrong.

Rule 10 does not address pronoun-antecedent agreement although Strunk and

White briey discusses this issue in the they entry in “Words and Expressions

Commonly Misused.”

Pronoun Agreement

Match singular nouns to singular pronouns, plural nouns to plural pronouns.

incorrect

hen a person hopes for

the best,

they often do the worst.

correct

hen a person hopes for

the best,

he or she often does the worst.

hen people hope for

the best,

they often do the worst.

A single person is obviously not a they; this common but illogical usage may nev-

ertheless some day become acceptable. It is not acceptable yet.

SINGULAR

PLURAL

WRITE IT RIGHT | 9

Gender-Neutral Language

Consider these strategies to avoid an awkward overuse of he or she or an uninten-

tional emphasis on the masculine:

Use the plural rather than the singular.

he writer must address

his readers’ concerns.

singular, gender-biased

Writers must address

their readers’ concerns.

plural, gender-neutral

Eliminate the pronoun altogether.

he writer must address

his readers’ concerns.

pronoun,

gender-biased

he writer must address

readers’ concerns.

no pronoun,

gender-neutral

Substitute the second person for the third person.

he writer must address

his readers’ concerns.

third-person,

gender-biased

s a writer, you must

address

your readers’

concerns.

second-person,

gender-neutral

dapted from

trunk and

hite,

3rd and 4th eds.)

Indenite Reference

The pronoun it, like they, also causes problems. Like all pronouns, it requires an

antecedent. However, writers sometimes mistakenly use it without one. Also, a

sentence can sometimes be improved by eliminating the it altogether.

First, check to make sure that it has an antecedent. In the following example, the

writer seems to think that it refers to setting off reworks. However, that phrase

does not appear in the sentence, so the it has no antecedent.

hen people set off reworks,

it is a way of being patriotic.

incorrect

hen people set off reworks,

they are showing their patriotism.

correct

Notice that the revised sentence replaces a form of to be with an active verb.

10 | WRITE IT RIGHT

Second, check to see if the it can be eliminated.

t is important for us to see the show.

weak

e should see the show.

vigorous

Again, the revised sentence eliminates a form of to be and uses a concrete subject.

These strategies will help you eliminate unnecessary words and make your writing

vigorous.

Rule 11: A participial phrase at the beginning of a sentence must re-

fer to the grammatical subject.

A participial phrase describes an action, but it does not say who or what per-

forms the action. What performs the action of the phrase must appear at the be-

ginning of the main clause. If you neglect this rule, you will produce a dangling

participle, which is often nonsensical.

ondering the dessert choices,

a slice of cake sounded good to

im.

incorrect

ondering the dessert choices,

thought a slice of cake sounded good.

correct

A slice of cake cannot ponder anything.

The same rule applies to prepositional phrases and elliptical clauses.

fter opening the box, the present

fell into my lap.

incorrect

fter opening the box,

watched the

present fall into my lap.

correct

The present cannot open the box.

If you habitually convert your words into visual images, you will avoid this error

and many more.

Rule 12: Choose a suitable design and hold to it.

Begin each writing job by asking yourself what you are writing. Are you writing

a cookbook? A letter to the editor? A ve-paragraph essay? Almost certainly,

someone has written the same kind of thing before, so study some examples be-

fore you begin.

A blank sheet of paper is often intimidating. What to write about? Where to start?

Sometimes it’s best to simply start typing. Writing stimulates thinking; you can (and

probably will) later discard the rst sentences, paragraphs, or pages you write until

you reach the real rst sentence. Unless it’s good, no one will read further.

WRITE IT RIGHT | 11

But sooner or later, you need to make decisions about not only the beginning but

also the middle and the end. The last sentence you write is as important as the

rst (Rule 22). Here you tie a ribbon around everything you’ve said and present it

to the reader as a gift. Knowing what you want to leave the reader with is essen-

tial to choosing a suitable design.

White’s Style Reminder 3 covers the same ground as Rule 12. Read them both

before getting too far into your next project. Otherwise, as White warns, there

will be no end to your labors.

Rule 13: Make the paragraph the unit of composition.

(See Types of Paragraphs, p. 22.)

Rule 14: Use the active voice.

Passive Voice

Replace the passive voice with the active voice in at least 95% of your sentences;

use the readability statistics of Microsoft Word

to see if you have done so. It

is easier to revise passive sentences than it is to recognize them in the rst place.

Take a close look at all your verbs. Habitual use of the active voice will make

your writing clearer and livelier.

Here’s how: make the object of the preposition by the subject, and make the sub-

ject the direct object:

PASSIVE VOICE

subject verb

object of "by"

The project was completed by me

ACTIVE VOICE

subject verb

direct object

I completed the project

PASSIVE VOICE

subject verb

Government was reformed

ACTIVE VOICE

subject verb

direct object

The new emperor reformed the government

Unfortunately, passive sentences do not always have a by phrase to tell who or

what did the action. In such cases, add the missing word.

12 | WRITE IT RIGHT

The Verb To Be

Some people mistakenly think that any use of to be makes a sentence passive. Not

true. In passive-voice sentences, a past participle always follows a form of to be.

The following sentences are not passive.

to be as helping verb

e is opening a new store next week.

to be as linking verb

eauty is truth.

In each case, the subject performs the action of the verb or experiences a state

of being. By contrast, in passive-voice sentences, the subject receives the action

of the verb.

For examples of the active and passive forms in all the most common tenses, see

the Verb Formation table on p. 37.

Rule 15: Put statements in positive form.

Learn to write what is, not what is not. You can often replace the adverb not by

nding a better noun or verb.

e did not have condence

in his subordinate’s judgment.

e distrusted his

subordinate’s judgment.

he senator did not tell the

whole truth

he senator dissembled.

hat was not the best decision.

negative

hat decision was poor.

positive

In the following revision, Prof. Strunk uses the principles of Rules 15 and 17 to

create a much shorter sentence with a well-chosen action verb.

t was not long before he was

very sorry that he had said

what he had said.

negative

e soon repented his words.

positive

Rule 16: Use denite, specic, concrete language.

This is every writing teacher’s rule. The three terms in it are best understood by

contrast to their opposites.

WRITE IT RIGHT | 13

VAGUE LANGUAGE

ome stuff was lying

around.

DEFINITE LANGUAGE

oys, books, and crayon

drawings covered the oor.

GENERAL LANGUAGE

rees and grass covered

the slope.

SPECIFIC LANGUAGE

ive oaks and olive trees

covered the slope of long,

brown grass.

ABSTRACT LANGUAGE

e need more structures

in which to display works

of art.

CONCRETE LANGUAGE

e should build more

museums.

Write with nouns and verbs and appeal to the reader’s ve senses. You must vi-

sualize as you write and use words that describe the details of your image. Strunk

and White gives the following example:

he reward was pocketed

by the parking lot atten-

dant with a grateful smile.

indenite

he parking lot attendant

grinned as he pocketed the

ten-dollar tip.

denite

Begin using this rule, and you will follow in the footsteps of the world’s greatest

writers. The rst sentences of John Steinbeck’s

annery

ow, quoted on p. 33, are

a striking example. Here are some others:

Falstaff sweats to death and lards the lean earth as he walks.

–

hakespeare

[He glared] at her face, as devoid of all comeliness of feature and com-

plexion as the most miserable beggar is of money.

–

onrad

We shall ght on the beaches, we shall ght on the landing grounds, we

shall ght in the elds and in the streets, we shall ght in the hills; we

shall never surrender.

–

hurchill

14 | WRITE IT RIGHT

The following entries cover common problems with indenite, abstract, and

vague language.

This / That / These / Those (demonstrative pronouns)

Add a noun after them (making them demonstrative adjectives) or replace them

with concrete language.

y dad wanted to go to

onald’s, but

didn’t

that.

he city council plans to raise

nes for parking tickets.

This will anger residents.

indenite

y dad wanted to go to

onald’s, but

didn’t

like that plan.

he city council plans to raise

nes for parking tickets.

esidents will fume.

denite

Get / Got / Gotten

Eliminate these words or replace them with more accurate verbs.

eople are getting tired of

watching American Idol.

Getting the laundry done

will take a while.

wordy

eople are tired of

watching American Idol.

inishing the laundry

will take a while.

concise

Bland Words: Pretty, Cool, Thing, Fun, Nice, Neat, Interesting, etc.

Eliminate or replace.

ur new car was very

interesting.

vague

ur new

cura has a custom

paint job and can go from

0 to 60 in nine seconds.

concrete

Similar and Different

Use these words only if you immediately explain what in particular is similar or

different. Usually, you should simply state the similarities and differences, letting

the qualities speak for themselves.

y mother and father are

very different.

y mother is brash and condent; my

father is quiet and unassuming.

here are many similarities and

differences between the two painters.

abstract

ike

auguin, van

ogh was a wizard

with color; in temperament, however, van

ogh was much less condent.

concrete

WRITE IT RIGHT | 15

Rule 17: Omit needless words.

lements of

tyle is famous for its insistence on brevity. Reduce word count by

slashing empty words or by combining sentences more efciently.

he annual event is held once a year.

he two sins that seem evident here

are avarice and sloth.

wordy

he event is held once a year.

wo sins seem evident here:

avarice and sloth.

concise

You can also save words by avoiding the there is construction, which includes there

are, there was, there were, there could be, there becomes, and so forth. Eliminate there and

begin the sentence with the subject; use an active verb if possible.

here could be a way of xing

the problem.

here were children playing on

the swings.

wordy

he problem has several solu-

tions.

hildren were playing on the

swings.

concise

Even when you do not use an active verb, eliminating there makes a better sentence.

here was a porcelain vase on the

table.

wordy

porcelain vase was on the

table.

concise

Memorable paragraphs use a variety of sentence structures. Strunk and White

addressed one issue in particular.

Rule 18: Avoid a succession of loose sentences.

Strunk points out that some writers habitually string their ideas together

with and and but or sometimes with who, which, when, where, and while used non-

restrictively. The occasional use of such sentences is ne, but you can improve

your sentences by using more variety. We add that writers of English can choose

from scores of techniques for improving sentence variety (those who wish to see a

few of them can take a look at James Joyce’s

lysses). To develop your eye for sen-

tence variety, simply consider the options you have for beginning a sentence.

Sample loose sentence

hite carefully planned the stages of his essay,

and then he wrote it.

16 | WRITE IT RIGHT

Here are eleven different ways of writing this sentence, each beginning with a differ-

ent grammatical structure. Note that some structures force the writer to change his

thought and language. For denitions of the grammatical terms, refer to the glossary.

Independent Clause

Adverb Clause

Adverb

Innitive

Present

Participial Phrase

Past Participial Phrase

Gerund Phrase

Prepositional Phrase

Demonstrative

Adjective

Adjective Clause

Absolute Phrase

Mr. White wrote the essay after carefully

planning it.

Before he wrote the essay, Mr. White

carefully planned it.

Carefully, Mr. White planned the stages of

his essay.

To write a good essay, Mr. White needed to

plan carefully.

Carefully planning his essay, Mr. White

reected on the techniques he had

developed during his career.

Worried about the approaching deadline, Mr.

White began to plan his essay.

Carefully planning the essay was the highlight

of Mr. White’s week.

Before writing the essay, Mr. White carefully

planned it.

This essay shows Mr. White’s careful

planning.

Mr. White, who was known for meticulous

preparation, carefully planned each stage

of the essay.

His head full of ideas, Mr. White carefully

planned each stage of the essay.

WRITE IT RIGHT | 17

Rule 19: Express coordinate ideas in similar form.

This rule addresses parallelism.

Following Rule 19 is like putting on your shoes in the morning. You can choose

any shoe you want. But if you choose a brown one for the left foot, choose a

brown one for the right foot. As with matching shoes, so it is with parallel words,

phrases, and clauses.

he school wants a teacher who

knows the material and

with a good work history.

relative clause +

prepositional phrase

he school wants a teacher

who knows the material and

who has a good work history.

relative clause +

relative clause

he school wants a teacher

with knowledge of the subject

and with a good work history.

prepositional phrase +

prepositional phrase

Rule 20: Keep related words together.

Most improperly placed words are adjectives or the phrases and clauses that

serve as adjectives. These expressions must occupy a xed position in the sen-

tence, usually right before or right after the noun or pronoun they modify.

he little girl wore a purple dress.

(Adjective)

he little girl wore a dress of purple.

(Adjective phrase)

he little girl wore a dress that was purple.

(Adjective clause)

In each case, the position of the adjective or adjective substitute is xed; any

change results in a purple girl or a little dress.

On the other hand, you can usually move the adverbial expression out of the way

when the modiers you’ve chosen compete for the same position.

he little girl wore a dress to her

friend’s birthday party on Fri-

day

that her mother had bought.

On Friday, the little girl wore a

dress that her mother had bought

to her friend’s birthday party.

Use the exibility of adverbial expressions to keep adjectives and nouns close

together.

18 | WRITE IT RIGHT

The shortest and simplest expression is usually best. Phrases are better than

clauses, and single-word modiers are better than either. In some cases, however,

you can shorten a sentence by expanding an adverb to a phrase.

e spoke to the audience condently,

but his condence was unjustied.

e spoke to the audience

with unjustied condence.

Rule 21: In summaries, keep to one tense.

When writing a summary, choose either the past or the present tense. Most

teachers prefer the present tense. Whichever you use, don’t mix the two. Also,

when describing action that took place before the action you are summarizing,

use the perfect tense (to have + past participle).

Sample summary with inconsistent verb tense

SIMPLE PAST

PAST PERFECT

PRESENT

n the day of their marriage,

ictor and

lizabeth enjoyed a boat trip on the nearby

lake.

ictor was agitated because the monster

had told him, “

will be with you on your

wedding night.”

ater, recognizing her husband’s

agitation,

lizabeth asks

ictor what is wrong,

but he

tries to calm her without revealing the truth.

Revised sample summary in present tense

n the day of their marriage,

ictor and

lizabeth enjoy a boat trip on the nearby

lake.

ictor is agitated because the monster has told him, “

will be with you on

your wedding night.”

ater, recognizing her husband’s agitation,

lizabeth asks

ictor what is wrong, but he tries to calm her without revealing the truth.

This rule has an exception: indirect discourse should preserve the past tense if

the speaker uses it.

hen he tells his story, the monster justies his actions

by saying

that people mistreated him.

Still, with this exception, keep summaries in one tense. Rule 12 is worth recalling

here. Effective writing mirrors the thoughts of the writer, but not necessarily in

the order in which those thoughts occur. Similarly, your thoughts may appear in

a variety of verb tenses, but in the nal draft of your book report or summary,

stick to just one.

ADVERB PHRASE

ADVERB

WRITE IT RIGHT | 19

Rule 22: Place the emphatic words of a sentence at the end.

When they read a sentence, readers are most likely to remember the information

that appears at the very end. Thus, in general, put old and familiar information at

the beginning of the sentence, new and unfamiliar information at the end.

Use this rule to improve thesis statements and topic sentences.

ickens shows that the

rench

aristocrats treat peasants like

beasts in A Tale of Two

Cities.

not recommended

n A Tale of Two Cities,

ickens shows that the

rench

aristocrats treat peasants like

beasts.

recommended

If writing an essay explaining causes, put the causes at or toward the end of each

topic sentence.

he desire for economic

independence also motivated

the

merican colonists to

separate from

ritain.

not recommended

merican colonists also

separated from

ritain be-

cause they wanted economic

independence.

recommended

This closes the section on the 22 rules written by Strunk. When White revised

the book, he added a number of pointers that he called “Style Reminders.” All

these are worth reading, but one is particularly important.

Style Reminder 4: Write with nouns and verbs.

Good writers give their sentences vigor by putting the important material in

nouns and verbs, not by doctoring up a weak sentence with adjectives and ad-

verbs. Compare the weakness of the left-handed version to the strength of the

right handed version.

ome governments wantonly destroy

innocent civilians by using despicable

acts of violence and then deviously

cover up those atrocious deeds with a

veneer of innocuous words.

Adjectives / Adverbs: 7

Total words: 25

eople are imprisoned for years without

trial, or shot in the back of the neck or sent

to die of scurvy in

rctic lumber camps:

this is called elimination of unreliable

elements.

—George Orwell, “Politics

and the English Language”

Adjectives / Adverbs: 3

Total words: 32

20 | WRITE IT RIGHT

Because Orwell writes with images, he has his choice of simple, powerful nouns

and verbs. His words vividly show the contrast between the bland abstractions of

the politician’s language and the injustices that it conceals. Shoving forward his

stark pictures of reality, he awakens readers from their comfortable daydreams.

Orwell’s passage also reminds writers to respect the difference between nouns and

verbs. Look again at the phrase elimination of unreliable elements

in the previous pas-

sage, in which Orwell imitates the politician’s language; it contains a noun made

from a verb: elimination. By abandoning the verb eliminate, the politician frees him-

self from considering who eliminates—and also frees himself from thinking about

what such actions entail.

As we’ve seen, converting actions (verbs) into objects (nouns) drains the life from

a sentence. When revising, watch for nouns ending in –ion; see if you can convert

them to verbs. To improve the following sentence, the writer simply converted the

noun discussion into the active verb discussed.

homas and

harles’s discussion

was about the

rench

evolution.

homas and

harles discussed

the

rench

evolution.

Even nouns that don’t end in –ion can contain potential verbs.

elated to the removal of pas-

sive sentences from your writing is a

broader

attempt to replace all weak

verbs with vigorous action verbs.

n addition to removing passive

sentences from your writing, you

should

attempt to replace all weak

verbs with vigorous action verbs.

The poor sentence buries actions—to remove, to attempt—in nouns—removal, at-

tempt. The improved sentence turns the noun removal into the verbal removing, and

the noun attempt into a verb.

The revised sentence suggests a further improvement:

Remove passive sentences from your writing,

and

try to replace all weak verbs with vigorous action verbs.

Good writing usually requires several stages of revision.

Just as it is too easy to convert verbs into nouns by adding –ion, it is also too easy

to convert nouns into verbs by adding –ize. Strunk and White points out that

some uses of the –ize ending, like fertilize and summarize, are acceptable because

they have gained widespread use. However, the book cautions writers against in-

venting verbs by adding –ize to nouns. Some of these inventions, like utilize and

nalize, are ugly and unnecessary. To revise such aberrations, you may need to add

words to the sentence.

WRITE IT RIGHT | 21

e should utilize more of our

steel reserves.

et’s nalize the project.

e need to productize our

services.

not recommended

e should use more of our

steel reserves.

et’s nish the project.

e need to develop our ser-

vices

into products.

recommended

Up until this point we have considered problems at the level of the sentence.

Now we turn to organization.

How to Write an Essay

1. Limit the subject relentlessly. Divide and subdivide it; splinter it,

and then write about one of the splinters.

Many a short essay is foredoomed because its author chose a broad, vague, gen-

eral subject. See the following examples.

A good title accurately indicates the subject of the essay either literally or gu-

ratively. Thus, “A Runaway Street Car” is a literal title; “Unharnessed Steel” is a

gurative title for the same subject.

Education in America

Education

The American High School

Our High School

What I Learned in High School

My Last Year in High School

My Training in Chemistry

My First Day in a Chemistry Laboratory

How I Learned to Bend Glass

ery bad

orse yet

till very bad

oo broad

omewhat less broad

etter, but still too broad

ood title

Example 1

22 | WRITE IT RIGHT

2. Begin promptly.

Eliminate preliminary ourishes. The opening of a short essay should resemble

the start of a foot race in which the runners are off at the crack of the gun.

In “Harriette Wilson,” Virginia Woolf begins, “Across the broad continent of a

woman’s life falls the shadow of a sword.” A less experienced writer might have

written, “I have noted in the course of a long life that there are two main aspects

of a woman’s life, and as I have turned these matters over in my mind, I have no-

ticed that there is a very sharp division between the two.”

Some subjects demand an introductory sentence, some a paragraph, and some no

preliminaries whatsoever. But the principle

egin promptly holds true for them all.

3. Give body to the essay. Consistently develop one idea.

4. End when you’re done. Your essay should end as decisively as it begins.

(

dapted from

trunk and

enney, 1934)

Types of Paragraphs

Introductions

Avoid dictionary denitions at the beginning of your essay.

For the introductory paragraph, you have many options. To learn them, read

many essays. If, when writing your own essay, you nd yourself stuck, try one of

the following methods:

Example 2

Dogs

Canines

Lap Dogs

Tim and I Go Hunting

Bessie, My Lap Dog

Tim, My Pointer

Why Bessie Squints

How Tim Lost His Right Ear

ery general

nnatural and pretentious

eneral and dull

oo general

hin

etter

WRITE IT RIGHT | 23

ive background on the topic (if it is a historical event).

iscuss different points of view on the topic.

iscuss the topic in general terms (if it is a general topic).

ell a story about the topic.

1. Give background on the topic.

rompt: “

f you could change any historical event,

which would you choose?”

In 1932, Franklin Delano Roosevelt was elected president of the

United States because he promised to use government to im-

prove the American economy. He announced a “New Deal” with

the American people. At the time, America—in fact, the whole

world—was experiencing the worst recession in history. Roosevelt,

in his rst 100 days, promptly began using government to pump

money into the economy. Americans received money for painting

murals, building roads, and even digging ditches that would never

be used. As years went by, the economy slowly improved. Eventu-

ally, with some help from World War II, America emerged from

its depression to become the economic leader of the world. It is

tempting to think that Roosevelt’s government programs brought

the country out of its depression. However, this optimistic assess-

ment of the New Deal is mistaken. The New Deal, in fact, slowed

U.S. economic recovery and worsened the effects of the economic

downturn; therefore, the United States should not have used the

New Deal to combat the Great Depression.

2. Describe different points of view on the matter.

rompt: “

f you could change any historical event,

which would you choose?”

Historians debate whether the New Deal helped or hindered the

United States as it emerged from the depression of the 1930s. Some

argue that the massive government spending provided what the coun-

try needed to jump-start the economy. Others argue that government

spending provided temporary benets, but also created long-term

burdens. Understanding this problem would help voters and politi-

cians decide how the government should handle the current economic

crisis. In fact, a look at the evidence suggests that government spending

in the 1930s improved the U.S. economy. Therefore, the United States

was right to combat the Great Depression with the New Deal.

24 | WRITE IT RIGHT

rompt: “

o people have the right to violate laws

they consider unjust?”

iscuss.

Many laws help people to make ethical choices; for instance, laws

against theft, murder, and bribery restrain violent, destructive

urges. At the same time, the majority of laws often seem to be

petty restrictions on human freedom; laws regulating trafc and

commerce often fall into this category. In addition, mindlessly fol-

lowing the law can be unethical, as supporters of the Nazi Party

learned after World War II. To live in a society ruled by law, then,

forces people to choose which laws to follow. But how do people

know which choices to make? More important, at what point do

people have the right to violate laws that they consider unjust?

People have the right to violate laws if they can show that such

laws violate universal human rights.

3. Discuss the topic in general terms.

rompt: “

o people have the right to violate laws

they consider unjust?”

iscuss.

Law is the foundation of civilized society. Without law, companies

could not enforce contracts, people could not buy and sell goods,

and families could not protect their children. Law raises society

out of the “war of all against all” described by Thomas Hobbes.

Yet history offers many examples of societies that have established

unjust laws. Among these are laws prohibiting interracial marriage,

laws discriminating against blacks, even laws sanctioning the mur-

der of Jews. Such laws are unjust because they violate individual

rights to life and liberty. When governments make unjust laws,

people have the right—perhaps even the duty—to disobey those

laws, provided that they can show how the laws in question violate

universal human rights.

4. Tell a story.

rompt: “

o people have the right to violate laws

they consider unjust?”

iscuss.

Last week, a group of environmental activists illegally entered

property that a lumber company purchased from the government.

The environmentalists pounded spikes into the trees. Because the

spikes could damage mill machinery and injure or maim mill work-

ers, the trees were unharvestable. The owners of the lumber com-

pany and some of its loggers attacked the environmental group

for violating the law and threatening their livelihood. The envi-

WRITE IT RIGHT | 25

ronmental group, for its part, charged that the logging company

had used political maneuvers to illegally obtain public lands. “The

community as a whole derives more benet from this forest if it is

left intact,” said a spokesman from the environmental group. “We

are acting to prevent governments from violating the community’s

rights to a healthy environment.”

This incident raises an important question: do people have

the right to violate laws that they consider unjust? A brief answer is

yes—provided that they can show how the laws in question violate

more general human rights.

Conclusions

Leave out the words to conclude or in conclusion. You are in the last paragraph of the

essay; your reader knows that you are about to conclude. Make your words count.

First, restate thesis in new words, and recap your argument.

Example 1

The New Deal did not alleviate the Great Depression but instead-

prolonged it. Both theory and empirical evidence support this

viewpoint.

Example 2

People must respect the law but also be prepared to violate it, at

least if we are to take seriously the opinions of great leaders and

legal thinkers.

After you have restated your thesis, explain why your thesis matters.

1. Explain some consequences of your thesis’s being true. What ef-

fects can we expect a decision to have, or what course of action should

we take?

Parents and teachers train children to be obedient. But they should

also train them to question authority. The law is important, but people

should not allow it to drown the natural understanding of the heart.

2. Issue a call to action. You can follow up with a consequence of choosing

that action.

Example 1

The experience of the Great Depression suggests that Congress

should continue to stimulate the economy with public money. Fu-

ture generations will thank us for making this sacrice, just as we

26 | WRITE IT RIGHT

thank the generations that planted victory gardens to help ght

two world wars.

Example 2

The aftereffects of the Great Depression suggest that Congress

should abandon its dream of spending its way out of the nan-

cial crisis. Left to its own devices, the economy will recover. Al-

though the road will be difcult, future generations will thank us

for spending only our money instead of theirs.

3. If you began with an anecdote, you may return to it. Explain how

your thesis sheds new light on the anecdote.

Which is more important, protecting the community from the

machinations of businessmen or allowing its members the freedom

to work as they choose? The environmental group is still awaiting

the judge’s decision. But whatever the law may decide in the group’s

case, the rights it has asserted are real and worth ghting for.

4. End with a quotation.

Example 1

As the King James version of the Bible says, “the law is good, if a

man use it lawfully.”

Example 2

Perhaps the greatest danger of using the government to improve

the economy is that people will come to see the government as re-

sponsible for alleviating needs during periods of general hardship.

If the government is at some point unable to meet such expecta-

tions, it may nd itself facing citizens who, as Edmund Burke said,

“having looked to government for bread, on the very rst scarcity

. . . will turn and bite the hand that fed them.”

Example 3

As Samuel Johnson said, “A decent provision for the poor is the

true test of civilization.”

NOTE

n timed writing, if you can’t remember the exact words of the quote, you may

use an indirect quote.

ee the following examples:

1. Edmund Burke said that people who expect government help will,

when dissatised, bite the hand that feeds them.

2. The Bible says that the law must be used well to be considered good.

3. Samuel Johnson said that good societies provide for their poor.

WRITE IT RIGHT | 27

Body Paragraphs

A good body paragraph is well organized and has good support. The fol-

lowing material, reproduced from the 1918 edition of Strunk, explains how to

organize and develop a body paragraph.

ake the paragraph the unit of composition:

one paragraph to each topic. (

trunk, 1918)

s a rule, begin each paragraph with a topic sentence;

end it in conformity with the beginning. (

trunk, 1918)

Strunk elaborated on this rule as follows:

• Begin with a topic sentence that discusses your topic in general

terms.

Next, • support the topic sentence with arguments and examples.

• Conclude with a wrap-up sentence that either strengthens your ar-

gument or derives some consequences from it.

You may relate the body of the paragraph to the topic sentence in several differ-

ent ways.

You may make the meaning of the topic sentence clearer by•

s restating it in other forms.

s dening its terms.

s denying the converse.

s giving illustrations or specic instances.

You may establish the meaning of the topic sentence by proofs. •

You may develop the claim of the topic sentence by showing its •

implications and consequences.

In a long paragraph, you may carry out several of these processes.

(

dapted from

trunk, 1918)

Here are a sample topic and a sample wrap-up sentence for a paragraph on the

pay of professional athletes.

Topic sentence: Athletes should be paid less than they currently re-

ceive because they are bad role models.

Wrap-up sentence: When they damage a community, people should

receive nes, not millions of dollars.

Because the following text is substantially reproduced, we have not noted weak-

nesses (e.g. passive voice) that we otherwise might have.

28 | WRITE IT RIGHT

Sample Body Paragraph 1

This paragraph makes an argument about how to take a walking tour.

*freak: a sudden turn of mind (1563)

opic sentence.

he meaning made clearer by

denial of the contrary.

he topic sentence repeated, in

abridged form, and supported

by three reasons; the meaning

of the third (“you must have

your own pace”) made clearer

by denying the converse.

fourth reason,

stated in two forms.

he same reason, stated in

still another form.

6–7

he same reason as stated

azlitt and agreed to by

the author.

epetition, in paraphrase, of

the quotation from

azlitt.

inal statement of the fourth

reason, in language ampli-

ed and heightened to form a

strong conclusion.

[1]

Now, to be properly enjoyed, a walking tour

should be gone upon alone.

[2]

If you go in a company, or even in pairs, it is

no longer a walking tour in anything but name;

it is something else and more in the nature of a

picnic.

[3]

A walking tour should be gone upon alone,

because freedom is of the essence; because you

should be able to stop and go on, and follow

this way or that, as the freak

takes you; and

because you must have your own pace, and

neither trot alongside a champion walker nor

nor mince in time with a girl.

[4]

And you must be open to all impressions and

let your thoughts take color from what you

see.

[5]

You should be as a pipe for any wind to play

upon.

[6]

“I cannot see the wit,” says Hazlitt, “of walking

and talking at the same time.

[7]

When I am in the country, I wish to vegetate

like the country,” which is the gist of all that

can be said upon the matter.

[8]

There should be no cackle of voices at your

elbow to jar on the meditative silence of the

morning.

[9]

And so long as a man is reasoning he cannot

surrender himself to that ne intoxication that

comes of much motion in the open air, that be-

gins in a sort of dazzle and sluggishness of the

brain, and ends in a peace that passes compre-

hension.

–

obert

ouis

tevenson, “

alking

ours”

WRITE IT RIGHT | 29

Sample Body Paragraph 2

Unlike the previous paragraph, the following one does not make an argument;

instead, it simply describes.

opic sentence.

he meaning of the topic

sentence made clearer; the new

conception

of history dened.

he denition

expanded.

he denition

explained by contrast.

he denition supplemented:

another element in the new

conception of history.

onclusion:

an important

consequence of

the new conception

of history.

[1]

It was chiey in the eighteenth century that a

very different conception of history grew up.

[2]

Historians then came to believe that their

task was not so much to paint a picture as to

solve a problem: to explain or illustrate the

successive phases of national growth, prosper-

ity, and adversity.

[3]

The history of morals, of industry, of intellect,

and of art; the changes that take place in man-

ners or beliefs; the dominant ideas that prevailed

in successive periods; the rise, fall, and modica-

tion of political constitutions; in a word, all the

conditions of national well-being became the

subjects of their works.

[4]

They sought rather to write a history of

peoples than a history of kings.

[5]

They looked especially in history for the chain

of causes and effects.

[6]

They undertook to study in the past the

physiology of nations, and hoped by applying

the experimental method on a large scale to

deduce some lessons of real value about the

conditions on which the welfare of society

mainly depend.

–

ecky, The Political Value of History

The previous section suggested how to organize a paragraph with a topic sen-

tence and how to support a topic sentence with various types of arguments.

In this section, we return to the most important technique for writing effective

paragraphs.

30 | WRITE IT RIGHT

More about Rule 16: Use denite, specic, concrete language.

This rule is the single most important piece of advice in every edition of

le-

ments of

tyle since 1920, important enough to demand more illustration. The fol-

lowing sections give examples of how to use such language in argumentative and

descriptive paragraphs.

Argumentative Paragraphs

Basic

rompt:

s smoking a bad habit?

When you smoke, it makes your outer appearance very ugly. Smok-

ers often have yellow teeth, bad breath, yellow ngernails, early skin

aging, and hair loss. Chemicals from the cigarette can stain your

hands and alter the conditions in your mouth to cause bad breath.

In addition, when people smoke, in a way, they fast-forward their

lives. Smoking accelerates hair loss and wrinkles on people’s faces.

rompt:

hat makes a good student?

High school students also need to be able to have fun. Studying

too much dulls the mind and tires people out. For example, sup-

pose some students are preparing for a big vocab test. They will

need to mix ash card work with more enjoyable ways of learning,

such as talking with friends about the words, drawing pictures of

the words, and maybe even writing some poems using the words.

But they’ll also need to take breaks from studying; they might play

basketball, or go swimming, or take long walks in the park. After

the breaks, when they return to learning their words, they will feel

refreshed. Also, running around and talking with friends will keep

them t and cheerful.

rompt:

f you were to be deprived of one of your ve senses (sight, touch, smell,

taste, and hearing), which one

would you most hate to give up?

xplain.

Without vision, I wouldn’t be able to drive. As just one conse-

quence, I wouldn’t be able to travel quickly. Walking to school

would take 45 minutes; driving takes ve. Going to San Francisco

and back would take all day rather than a couple of hours. Also,

without a driver’s license, I wouldn’t be able to transport my own

furniture or materials. If I wanted to pick up a stereo system, a set

of chairs, boards for a fence, or even a big rock, I’d be stuck. Lack

of vision would limit my freedom to move about and my ability

to work.

WRITE IT RIGHT | 31

Intermediate

rompt:

f you were to be deprived of one of your ve senses (sight, touch, smell,

taste, and hearing), which one would you most hate to give up?

xplain.

Without vision, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy movies or television.

Imagine not being able to see a summer blockbuster like

ron

an.

You wouldn’t be able to experience Tony Stark’s gravity-defying

acrobatics; you wouldn’t be able to admire the way he bamboozles

Obadiah by jumping on his back. You’d just hear a lot of whooshes,

swooshes, and explosions, along with a few power chords. Or con-

sider a TV show like

impsons. Half of the humor comes from

watching Homer smack his head or seeing Maggie fall down. Sure,

the voices would still be amusing. But they wouldn’t be connected

with slapstick action. And you wouldn’t be able to see what Bart is

writing on the chalkboard at the beginning of each episode.

rompt:

hould smoking be illegal in public places?

Smoking bans go against the spirit of the U.S. Constitution. The

Constitution gives Americans many freedoms, such as the right to

bear arms, freedom of assembly, and freedom of speech. These

freedoms entail dangers: the right to bear arms can put guns in the

hands of people unable to use them wisely; freedom of assembly

can lead to riots. Both of these freedoms are far more danger-

ous than a few puffs of tobacco that someone might inhale while

outside a bar. Since the Constitution grants people dangerous free-

doms, the government created by the Constitution shouldn’t re-

strict minor annoyances.

Advanced

As it is by treaty, by barter, and by purchase, that we obtain from

one another the greater part of those mutual good ofces which

we stand in need of, so it is this same [bartering] disposition which

originally gives occasion to the division of labor. In a tribe of hunt-

ers or shepherds, a particular person makes bows and arrows, for

example, with more readiness and dexterity than any other. He fre-

quently exchanges them for cattle or for venison, with his com-

panions; and he nds at last that he can, in this manner, get more

cattle and venison, than if he himself went to the eld to catch

them. From a regard to his own interest, therefore, the making of

bows and arrows grows to be his chief business, and he becomes

a sort of [weapons manufacturer]. Another excels in making the

frames and covers of their little huts or moveable houses. He is

accustomed to be of use in this way to his neighbors, who reward

32 | WRITE IT RIGHT

him in the same manner with cattle and with venison, till at last he

nds it his interest to dedicate himself entirely to this employment,

and to become a sort of house-carpenter. In the same manner a

third becomes a smith or a [brass worker]; a fourth, a tanner or

[preparer] of hides or skins, the principal part of the clothing of

savages. And thus the certainty of being able to exchange all that

surplus part of the produce of his own labor, which is over and

above his own consumption, for such parts of the produce of

other men’s labor as he may have occasion for, encourages every

man to apply himself to a particular occupation, and to cultivate

and bring to perfection whatever talent of genius he may possess

for that particular species of business.

—Adam Smith,

ealth of

ations

Smith begins with a simple statement of economic principles and illustrates it

with two developed examples and two shorter ones. Having used concrete lan-

guage to anchor the examples in readers’ minds, he returns to a general statement

of economic principles. In this paragraph, Smith combines abstract language

with denite, specic, concrete language. To make your arguments last, do the

same.

Descriptive Paragraphs

Basic

Dorothy lived in the midst of the great Kansas prairies, with Uncle

Henry, who was a farmer, and Aunt Em, who was the farmer’s

wife. Their house was small, for the lumber to build it had to be

carried by wagon many miles. There were four walls, a oor and

a roof, which made one room; and this room contained a rusty

looking cookstove, a cupboard for the dishes, a table, three or four

chairs, and the beds.

—L. Frank Baum,

izard of

Intermediate

The great masses of rock on the ocean’s coast shone white in the

moonlight. Through the gaunt outlying rocks, lashed apart by furi-

ous storms, boiled the ponderous breakers, tossing aloft the spar-

kling clouds of spray, breaking in the pools like a million silver

shes. High above the waves, growing out of the crevices of the

massive rocks of the shore, were weird old cypresses, their bodies

bent from the ocean as if petried in ight before the mightier foe.

WRITE IT RIGHT | 33

On their gaunt outstretched arms and gray bodies, seamed with

time, knobs like human muscles jutted; between the broken bark

the red blood showed.

—Gertrude Atherton, “The Ears of Twenty Americans”

Advanced

Cannery Row in Monterey in California is a poem, a stink, a grating

noise, a quality of light, a tone, a habit, a nostalgia, a dream. Can-

nery Row is the gathered and scattered tin and iron and rust and

splintered wood, chipped pavement and weedy lots and junk heaps,

sardine canneries of corrugated iron, honky tonks, restaurants and

little crowded groceries, and laboratories and op-houses.

—John Steinbeck,

annery

Both the Atherton and Steinbeck paragraphs give a vivid picture of California’s

central coast. But notice how Steinbeck uses nouns in place of adjectives to cre-

ate an even stronger and more memorable picture, complete with sights, sounds,

and smells.



Strunk and White does not have the nal word on writing well, but its concise

recommendations give writers at every level a push in the right direction:

se denite, concrete, specic expressions.

eport the details that matter.

rite with nouns and verbs.

Remember E. B. White’s advice:

Style Reminder 5: Revise and rewrite.

Ernest Hemingway rewrote the ending of

arewell to

rms 39 times in order to

“get the words right.” As White says, revision is no sign of weakness.

Appendix | 34

Appendices

Appendix I: Words and Expressions Commonly Misused

This is a short list of specic editing suggestions that will help you follow Rules

15 and 17. Read the entire list in Strunk and White, and, for many more, consult

Bruce Ross-Larsen’s extremely valuable

dit

ourself.

not honest

not important

did not remember

did not pay any

attention to

did not have much

condence in

as to whether

as yet

regarded as being

case

I’ll contact you

due to

each and every

factor

nalize

feature

he is a man who

in the nal analysis

interesting

literal, literally

ongoing

one of the most

personalize

personally

possess

prestigious

relate

change to

cut

change to

cut

change to

cut

change to

cut

try to cut

cut

change to

cut

change

dishonest

trivial

forgot

ignored

distrusted

whether

yet

regarded as

I’ll phone/email you

because of

every, us all

nish, complete

I thought …

have, own

This word relates to being happy.

This word suggests happiness.

Appendix | 35

rstly, secondly,

thirdly

the foreseeable future

The truth/fact is

thrust

transpire

(“to become known”)

utilize

very

worthwhile

it has been shown that

it is recognized that

it has been demon-

strated that

it must be remem-

bered that

it may be seen that

what is known as

it is worthy of note

it will be appreciated that

it is found that

it may be mentioned that

it is the intention of

this writer to

deemed it necessary to

change to

cut

change to

cut

change to

cut

rst, second, third

happen

use

promising, useful,

valuable

(

dapted from

ruce

oss-

arsen’s

dit

ourself)

Appendix II: Using Verbs Correctly

Every sentence has a verb, so every sentence has an opportunity for a mistake.

Some verbs are formed incorrectly; others use incorrect forms. “My mama

done told me,” if used in formal English, illustrates both violations. First, the helping

verb do is always—100% of the time—followed by the innitive. Second, the simple

past form of do is did; done is the past participle, never used as a helping verb.

The principal parts of do are irregular: do, did, done. But 12,408 of 12,608 English

verbs, from abacinate to zoutch, are regular: abacinate, abacinated, abacinated; zoutch,

zoutched, zoutched. (

bacinate means to blind with a hot plate held before the eyes;

zoutch means to stew sh with just enough water to cover them.)

Appendix | 36

Learn the verb formation rules and memorize the principal parts of 100 irregular

verbs, and you’ll be sure of getting the most important word in each of your sen-

tences right.

Using Verbs Correctly

VERB FORMATION

resent

erfect

rogressive

erfect-

rogressive

assive

oice

ntensive

odals

Basic Form + s

ave + Past Participle

e + Present Participle

Perfect of

e + Present

Participle

e + Past Participle

o + Basic Form

Modal + Basic Form

odals:

hall, will, must,

might, can, could, would,

should, may

The following chart gives the third person singular (he, she,

or it) form of the verb say. Intransitive verbs do not have a

passive form.

imple

resent

erfect

res.

rogressive

res.

erf.-

rog.

imple

ast

erfect

ast

rogressive

ast

erf.-

rog.

imple

odal

erfect

odal

rog.

od.

erf.-

rog.

resent

ntensive

ast

ntensive

ACTIVE

says

has said

is saying

has been saying

said

had said

was saying

had been saying

would say

would have said

would be saying

would have been saying

does say

did say

PASSIVE

is said

has been said

is being said

has been being said

was said

had been said

was being said

had been being said

would be said

would have been said

would be being said

would have been

being said

----------------------------------

Appendix | 37

b. Using Verbs Correctly

ONE HUNDRED IRREGULAR VERBS

INFINITIVE

say

make

take

come

see

know

get

give

nd

think

tell

become

show

leave

feel

put

bring

begin

keep

hold

write

stand

hear

let

mean

set

meet

run

pay

sit

speak

lie

lead

read

grow

lose

fall

send

build

understand

PAST

said

made

went

took

came

saw

knew

got

gave

found

thought

told

became

showed

left

felt

put

brought

began

kept

held

wrote

stood

heard

let

meant

set

met

ran

paid

sat

spoke

lay

led

read

grew

lost

fell

sent

built

understood

PAST PARTICIPLE

said

made

gone

taken

come

seen

known

gotten

given

found

thought

told

become

shown

left

felt

put

brought

begun

kept

held

written

stood

heard

let

meant

set

met

run

paid

sat

spoken

lain

led

read

grown

lost

fallen

sent

built

understood

Appendix | 38

b. Using Verbs Correctly

ONE HUNDRED IRREGULAR VERBS

INFINITIVE

draw

break

spend

cut

rise

drive

buy

wear

choose

seek

throw

catch

deal

win

forget

lay

sell

ght

bear

teach

eat

sing

strike

hang

shake

ride

feed

shoot

drink

hit

arise

y

spread

sleep

cost

beat

light

bind

cast

hide

swing

PAST

drew

broke

spent

cut

rose

drove

bought

wore

chose

sought

threw

caught

dealt

won

forgot

laid

sold

fought

bore

taught

ate

sang

struck

hung

shook

rode

fed

shot

drank

hit

arose

ew

spread

slept

cost

beat

lit

bound

cast

hid

swung

PAST PARTICIPLE

drawn

broken

spent

cut

risen

driven

bought

worn

chosen

sought

thrown

caught

dealt

won

forgotten

laid

sold

fought

borne

taught

eaten

sung

struck

hung

shaken

ridden

fed

shot

drunk

hit

arisen

own

spread

slept

cost

beaten

lit

bound

cast

hidden

swung

Appendix | 39

b. Using Verbs Correctly

ONE HUNDRED IRREGULAR VERBS

100

INFINITIVE

blow

swim

bend

wake

stick

sweep

undertake

shut

steal

tear

hurt

ring

lend

sink

overcome

freeze

shine

withdraw

PAST

blew

swam

bent

woke

stuck

swept

undertook

shut

stole

tore

hurt

rang

lent

sank

overcame

froze

shone

withdrew

PAST PARTICIPLE

blown

swum

bent

woken

stuck

swept

undertaken

shut

stolen

torn

hurt

rung

lent

sunk

overcome

frozen

shone

withdrawn

Glossary | 40

Glossary

FANBOYS is a common acronym for the coordinating conjunctions. Possible

acronyms for subordinating conjunctions and conjunctive adverbs are

IS-

SAWWAUUBBOAT and CHINASOFFT. The relative pronouns are easy to remember.

Absolute Phrase: A phrase that modies the entire sentence.

Most absolute phrases look like a clause that is missing a form of “to be.”

His head shaking,

lfredo turned away from his father.

(

is head was shaking.)

he owers, their proud heads wilted by the sun,

lay on the slab of concrete.

Adjective: A word that modies, quanties, or otherwise describes a noun or

pronoun.

Drizzly

ovember; midnight dreary;

only requirement; that movie.

Adjective Clause: A dependent clause that modies a noun. Most adjective

clauses are introduced with the relative pronouns that, which, and who

(whom, whose).

ny kid who nds a twenty dollar bill

would be foolish not to spend it.

Adverb: A word that modies or otherwise qualies a verb, an adjective, or an-

other adverb.

VERB

ADJECTIVE

ADVERB

gestures gracefully

exceptionally

quiet engine

ran

too quickly

Coordinating

Conjunctions

FOR

AND

NOR

BUT

YET

Subordinating

Conjunctions

SINCE

SO THAT

WHEN

WHILE

AFTER

UNLESS

UNTIL

BEFORE

BECAUSE

ONCE

ALTHOUGH

THOUGH

Relative

Pronouns

WHO

WHOM

WHOSE

THAT

WHICH

Conjunctive

Adverbs

CONSEQUENTLY

HOWEVER

INSTEAD

NEVERTHELESS

ALSO

STILL

OTHERWISE

FURTHERMORE

THUS

THEREFORE

Glossary | 41

Antecedent: The noun to which a pronoun refers.

James put his clothes in a chair; he sighed heavily.

Appositive: A word that renames a noun or pronoun.

y uncle Charles left us nothing in his will.

aul, a former contestant on a popular game show,

was always quick to answer trivia.

Case: The form of a noun or pronoun that reects its grammatical function in a

sentence as subject (they), object (them), or possessor (their).

She gave her employees a raise that pleased them greatly.

Clause: A group of related words that contains a subject and a verb.

Squirrels burrow in the ground.

hile the carpenter was pounding the nail,

sawdust drifted to the oor.

Compound Sentence: Two or more independent clauses joined by a coordinat-

ing conjunction, a correlative conjunction, or a semicolon.

Caesar conquered Gaul, but

Alexander the Great conquered the world.

Compound Subject: Two or more simple subjects joined by a coordinating or

correlative conjunction.

Hemingway and Fitzgerald had little in common.

Conjunctive Adverb: An adverb that provides transition between two clauses.

For examples, see the table at the beginning of the glossary.

Coordinating Conjunction: The words

for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so. Use them

to join grammatically equivalent elements. See the table at the beginning of

the glossary.

Dependent Clause. See subordinate clause.

Demonstrative Pronoun/Adjective: The demonstratives are the words

this,

that, these,

and those. They can be used as pronouns:

This disturbed the swallows.

When followed by nouns, demonstrative pronouns function as adjectives:

This hawk disturbed the swallows.

Glossary | 42

Direct Object: A noun or pronoun that receives the action of a transitive verb.

earson publishes books.

Gerund: The -ing form of a verb that functions as a noun:

Hiking is good exercise.

he was praised for her playing.

Indenite Pronoun: A pronoun that refers to an unspecied person (anybody)

or thing (something).

Indirect Object: A noun or pronoun that indicates to whom or for whom, to

what or for what the action of a transitive verb is performed.

asked her a question.

d gave the door a kick.

Innitive/Split Innitive: The basic form of the verb (

write). Innitives are

often preceded by

to (to write) A split innitive occurs when one or more

words separate to and the verb (

to boldly go).

Intransitive Verb: A verb that does not take a direct object.

is nerve failed.

Linking Verb: A verb that joins the subject of a sentence to a subject comple-

ment (predicate nominative or predicate adjective).

rofessor

hapman is a philosophy teacher.

hey became ecstatic.

he parsley smells fragrant.

Main Clause: A clause that can stand alone as a sentence.

he astronauts are spacewalking.

our clothes are dirty, so

will put them in the washer.

Nonrestrictive Modier: A modier that simply provides extra description for

the word that it modies; it could be removed without creating ambiguous

reference.

ur 10

-grade

nglish teacher, a veteran of three

school systems

, has a solution for every writing problem.

ichael

ackson, who inspired millions

with his music

, passed away in 2009.

Glossary | 43

Object: The noun or pronoun that completes a prepositional phrase or the

meaning of a transitive verb. (See also direct object, indirect object, and

preposition.)

rost gave a memorable poetic performance.

he book on the table belongs to my aunt.

Participle: A word derived from a verb that functions like an adjective. Present

participles end in -ing (blinking). Past participles end in -d or -ed (injured), -n

(broken), or are irregular (struck).

Blinking, we stepped onto the stage.

e returned to our homes, shaken.

Participles can also be part of participial phrases:

he poster, fastened to the wall

with tacks

, announced a new play.

Phrase: A group of related words that lacks a subject and verb.

In the morning, we left gladly.

Flailing wildly, the tightrope walker plunged into the net.

lease burn after reading.

Predicate Nominative, Predicate Adjective. See subject complement.

Preposition: A word that relates its object (a noun, pronoun, or -ing verb form)

to another word in the sentence. She is the leader

of our group. We opened

the door

by picking the lock. She went out the window.

Prepositional Phrase: A group of words consisting of a preposition, its object, and

any of the object’s modiers. Georgia on my mind.

Relative Pronoun: A pronoun that connects a dependent clause to a main clause

in a sentence. The pronoun is called relative because it relates to the word

that it modies. For examples, see the table at the beginning of the summary.

Restrictive Modier: A modier essential to identifying the word it modies.

eople who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

he snowakes falling over the lake

quickly dissolved in the steaming water.

he soldier on the left dropped to his knees and red.

Glossary | 44

Restrictive Term, Element, Clause: A phrase or clause that limits the meaning

of the sentence element it modies or identies.

rofessional athletes who perform exceptionally

should earn stratospheric salaries.

Since there are no commas before and after the boldfaced clause, the bold-

faced clause is restrictive and suggests that only those athletes who perform

exceptionally are entitled to such salaries. If commas were added before who

and after exceptionally, the clause would be nonrestrictive and would suggest

that all professional athletes should receive stratospheric salaries.

Subject Complement: A word that follows a linking verb and repeats, identies,

or describes the subject. A subject complement can be a noun, in which case

it is sometimes called a predicate nominative.

y friend was a good runner.

A subject complement can be an adjective, in which case, it is sometimes

called a predicate adjective.

he boys grew thoughtful.

Subject: The noun or pronoun that indicates what a sentence is about and which

the principal verb of a sentence elaborates.

he new

teven

pielberg movie is a box ofce hit.

Subordinate Clause: A clause that cannot stand alone as a sentence; it must be

attached to a main clause.

After we opened the bottles, we gave a toast.

he cheese, which had sat in the fridge for a month,

was coated with white mold.

he letter that Sam had opened remained on the table.

Subordinating Conjunction: A conjunction that introduces a dependent clause.

For examples, see the table at the beginning of the glossary.

Tense: The time of a verb’s action or state of being, such as past, present, or fu-

ture. Saw; see; will see.

Glossary | 45

Transitive Verb: A verb that requires a direct object to complete its meaning:

hey washed their new car.

An intransitive verb does not require an object to complete its meaning:

he audience laughed.

Many verbs can be both transitive and intransitive:

he wind blew furiously.

y car blew a gasket.

Verb: A word or group of words that expresses the action or indicates the state

of being of the subject.

erbs activate sentences.

Verbal: A verb form that functions in a sentence as a noun, an adjective, or an

adverb rather than as a principal verb.

Thinking can be fun.

n embroidered handkerchief.

(See also gerund, innitive, and participle.)

dapted from

obert

anni, “

lossary,”

trunk and

hite, 4th edition)

Steve High,

president of Improve

Your English, graduated

from U.C. Berkeley. He

has an M.A. in English

and taught at San Jose

State University. Published

in many newspapers and

magazines, he has been a

writer and tutor in Silicon

Valley for many years.

Nat Crawford

graduated from the Uni-

versity of Chicago. While

a doctoral candidate at

Stanford University,

he taught writing and

Honors English at

Pinewood School in Los

Altos. Currently he serves

as director of tutoring at

Improve Your English.